My Fantasy Life

When I was younger I use to fantasize about growing up and starting a family. I imagined waking up in the morning with the sun shining in my room through the lacy curtains while surrounded by fluffy white sheets and comforters. My son would come charging into my room and make a running leap for the bed where my amazing husband and I would tag team him in a giant tickle match. After all the fun we’d head downstairs and I’d make us breakfast that consisted of blueberry pancakes, strawberries and a glass of orange juice. It was the perfect bright and sunny day with a loving family in a perfect world…

What I have now is this… I have been living with my husbands parents since February of this year. I have a one year old son who lives in my room with my husband and I which is actually a garage we closed in. Instead of white fluffy sheets and comforters we have clearanced sheets from an outlet store and a grey king sized blanket for a comforter. My husband is gone when I get up in the morning and my son has usually taken his place in the bed by then. I wake up to him repositioning his elbow in my face and then a wet spot in the bed from his diaper that I forgot to change before I put him down the night before. His breakfast usually consists of milk and cherrios while I settle for a glass of sweet tea.

I didn’t get the fantasy life I dreamed of. I find reasons to pout and moan about my current situation but you know what? Somewhere between the dirty sheets and the lake I’m left with after bath time, I find peace in my life. I wake up to a beautiful, clueless, blond little boy smiling at me through a binky. I nibble at his fingers when he shares his breakfast with me in the mornings. I tingle with joy when he brings me a blanket and crawls into my lap for nap time. And I stand back and smile every time I put him in his (my) favorite cars pajamas with matching slippers. It’s the simple things in life that make it worth living.

I was not expecting this child but my little boy and his father are the best things that ever happened to me. I get so wrapped up in life and in routine that I don’t stop to cherish the moments that matter. I worry too much about finances and who’s not doing what that I lose sight of what’s important. WHO is important. Without my husband and my son I would not be where I am today. You may not see this as anywhere special, but to me I am with my family and that is all I need.



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