Eh...

It's 3:30am. My stomach is hurting, I feel like shit. I wanna go home and crawl back in bed... but I can't do that until later on tonight bc if I do rest then I'll never be able to sleep and get up for tomorrows 2am work call. Which I'm really not all that bad off right now... I'm just feeling like shit and it's cold.. those combinations can make you tired... or more tired in my case. I'm waiting for one of these flies to buzz in my mouth next time I yawn. There were like 6 of them in here when I got here. Idk how Fletcher can deal with it. It's insane. I can't stand them. Ugh, I need a drink. Hopefully the vendy man put something worth while in the machine this time... we'll see. Well, last time I got something out of there. I went to get Cheetos... they ended up being Cracker Jacks. So I was like alright. I'll just get a Rice Krispy treat... well that ended up being Oreos. So I didn't get anything I wanted. Then today. I went for a Mt. Dew... which I got. And a Danish Cheese thing... and I get a giant Cinnamon Roll instead. I just can't win. Maybe that's just God's way of telling me to leave the vendy thing alone. Which I'm sure there are plenty of reasons why I should. But I've also got one big reason to not give a Fuck. Lol. Some of you may know what that is. Some won't... but in time you will. I can't hide it forever. If you wanna know, ask. If I want you to know, I'll tell ya. Next...

3:51. Only had one truck this morning. It was a while ago tho. And he's usually one of the guys I talk to but we didn't talk today... and I feel kinda bad bc he's one of the guys who travel from GA to here. It feels good to have a conversation after a ride like that. But I just wasn't feeling well and didn't feel like talking... I'm sorry Ricky! Lol. He was telling me last time we were talking about how he lives out in the middle of nowhere a couple miles down this one road. He said that it's kewl bc no one bothers him, and if someone is out there then he knows they aren't suppose to be there. He was talking to a cop friend of his sayin he'd just shoot em if he see's someone on his property. Then the cop was like Man, if someone ever comes us missing we're gunna hafta dig your whole yard up. Lol. He was telliing me about that, and how he makes ground beef out the ass out there. And sausages. Something about mixing deer meat with beef to make sausage, and mixing deer meat with something else to make something else... I'm not sure. Or maybe I got it all fucked up, who knows. But it's something like that. Haha. I thought it was kinda kewl.

Well, it's 4:00am and I've already taken in about 500 calories. It'll be 610 as soon as I finish this Mt Dew... but the whole point of this is to make sure I stay up... we'll see how it works. Oh, and for those of you who ACTUALLY read this will get the heads up on when I'm coming down to Florida. Which, in this case, is this weekend. I get off work at 10:00am Saturday and Shane's off at noon. So we'll probably be leaving soon after that. Then leaving from Florida sometime Sunday I'm sure. I wish we could stay til Monday... but we can't afford for Shane to miss a day of work. That's 60 bucks, if not more. Depends. Buuuut, Shane's Dad is going to pay to have my car checked out completely while we're down there. Said he's just gunna put it on his corporate account... must be nice. Lol. He's got these kewl little gadgets. Like this telephone thing for your computer. You plug it into your comp and plug your phone up to it and you can call people all day long and receive calls for nothing. Sounds sweet, don't it? Lol. As long as you got net, you can do it. Which we do, so we can. Haha.

The one thing I'm not liking about me going back down to Florida, is the fact that everyone wants to see me, and I want to see them... but I kinda have an obligation to Shane's rents seeing as they are paying for us to come down... it's not an obligation really bc I do want to spend time with them. They are awesome people, I love em. I just think it's kinda disrespectful to have them pay for us to come down, then have me run off and do what I want with whoever. Ya know where I'm coming from? It's not right. Which there's only a few people I'd want to see anyways, but still. I can't just run off like that. One thing about Shane's parents is they have accepted me right into their family, no questions asked. Always offering to help with whatever it is they can. It's a really good feeling to know someone has your back like that. You want to do for them what they do for you, only it sucks bc you can't. Lol. Like we're so limited. And I feel like crap about a few things when it comes to financial capabilities. There was this necklace that I saw a couple months ago that I wanted to get Mom for Christmas... we kept putting it off, and now we don't have the money to do it... we didn't before but we could've made payments on it. Now we just flat out don't have the money. And it was awesome. It was perfect. I wanted it so bad. And the same with my brothers birthday... I can't do anything with that now either. It sucks. How am I suppose to tell my little brothers, “Hey, remember how I promised you I'd get you a birthday gift but it might be a week or two late? Well yeah, I can't do that now.” It sucks. Especially now, but you'll hear more about that later. Anyways, I'm gunna go drown my sorrows in Photoshop. I'll be back to write more soon enough.

Okay I lied... I'm home now. It's 5:20, I took a Seroquel 20 minutes ago so I should be nice and knocked out in about 30 minutes. I'm dehydrated as hell and I just got back from the dentist at 4. I had a cleaning... and my teeth feel funny... but good. Anyways, beddy by time for me. So I'll be up and writing again at 2am like usual. See ya Peoples!